FIC - Spike's Blog (a sequel)
May. 10th, 2012 12:47 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
verucasalt123title: Thursday, 10 May, 2012.
pairing: Spike/Wes
Rating: R
Summary: Another blog post of Spike’s, by request. I am using the same art I was gifted with previously, I hope that is acceptable to the artist :)
Hello again, my faithful internet followers. I’ve heard other folks refer to their regular readers as ’minions’, but believe me, you do not want to know what kind of negative connotations that word has for me. Vampires do, indeed, sometime create minions, and the things that happen to them are truly awful. Before the whole thing with me getting my soul back, it was of no concern to me, but as you all know, I am different in so many ways now.
I haven’t told you the story, and I’m not going to give you fangirls (and fanboys, how nice, I didn’t even know about you lot until recently) every detail. Suffice it to say that I did it for a girl. I won’t tell you her name, but I loved her, and I wanted to make up for something horrible I did to her, and I wanted her to love me too. She said it once, that she loved me, but it was a lie. A kind one, granted, but still. I thought I’d fought so hard to regain my soul for nothing.
Fuck if I’m sorry for it now, though. There’s no way I could love Wesley the way that I do without it. There are occasions when I even convince myself I deserve to have him love me back. Times when we’re in bed or just sitting together watching Torchwood, and he tells me. He kisses me, or puts his arm around my shoulder and he says “I love you”, like he means it, calling me my real name (which no, I am also not going to tell you). It’s another level of intimacy when he does that, not when he says he loves me, but when he calls me by that name, that other name from a lifetime ago.
And re-reading what I just typed, that sounds wrong. I said ‘like he means it’, when the truth is, he does mean it. He loves me so much that sometimes it’s overwhelming, makes me feel dizzy, like the borrowed blood in my veins is rushing to my head. Wesley protects me, takes care of me, no matter how I might complain sometimes that he’s controlling. He does it to keep me safe, make sure I stay on the right path.
He changed his whole life so that he could adjust to sleeping when I sleep, so that we could go to bed together and wake up together. Our friends know, it’s not like we’ve made an effort to keep anything secret.
But none of that, the words, the kissing, the sex, the changes in lifestyle…nothing compares to the times when he foregoes the habit of referring to me as Spike like everyone else does and he just says…
Oh, fuck it. Will. My name is William. Wesley calls me Will. I hope that’s enough for you all today.
pairing: Spike/Wes
Rating: R
Summary: Another blog post of Spike’s, by request. I am using the same art I was gifted with previously, I hope that is acceptable to the artist :)
Hello again, my faithful internet followers. I’ve heard other folks refer to their regular readers as ’minions’, but believe me, you do not want to know what kind of negative connotations that word has for me. Vampires do, indeed, sometime create minions, and the things that happen to them are truly awful. Before the whole thing with me getting my soul back, it was of no concern to me, but as you all know, I am different in so many ways now.
I haven’t told you the story, and I’m not going to give you fangirls (and fanboys, how nice, I didn’t even know about you lot until recently) every detail. Suffice it to say that I did it for a girl. I won’t tell you her name, but I loved her, and I wanted to make up for something horrible I did to her, and I wanted her to love me too. She said it once, that she loved me, but it was a lie. A kind one, granted, but still. I thought I’d fought so hard to regain my soul for nothing.
Fuck if I’m sorry for it now, though. There’s no way I could love Wesley the way that I do without it. There are occasions when I even convince myself I deserve to have him love me back. Times when we’re in bed or just sitting together watching Torchwood, and he tells me. He kisses me, or puts his arm around my shoulder and he says “I love you”, like he means it, calling me my real name (which no, I am also not going to tell you). It’s another level of intimacy when he does that, not when he says he loves me, but when he calls me by that name, that other name from a lifetime ago.
And re-reading what I just typed, that sounds wrong. I said ‘like he means it’, when the truth is, he does mean it. He loves me so much that sometimes it’s overwhelming, makes me feel dizzy, like the borrowed blood in my veins is rushing to my head. Wesley protects me, takes care of me, no matter how I might complain sometimes that he’s controlling. He does it to keep me safe, make sure I stay on the right path.
He changed his whole life so that he could adjust to sleeping when I sleep, so that we could go to bed together and wake up together. Our friends know, it’s not like we’ve made an effort to keep anything secret.
But none of that, the words, the kissing, the sex, the changes in lifestyle…nothing compares to the times when he foregoes the habit of referring to me as Spike like everyone else does and he just says…
Oh, fuck it. Will. My name is William. Wesley calls me Will. I hope that’s enough for you all today.
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Date: 2012-05-10 08:30 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-05-10 11:25 am (UTC)Thursday, May 10
Date: 2012-05-11 05:49 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-05-11 12:23 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-05-11 06:09 pm (UTC)