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verucasalt123WC: 2283
Summary: Sam may not possess all that much social experience, but he knows enough to know that wanting to kiss your brother is fucking weird.
Warnings: underage (kissing), Sam age 13
Sam learned everything he knows about life from his brother Dean.
Some things were taught to him on purpose, some were just picked up on after seeing them so many times.
In general, Sam hates the ordeal of having to introduce himself to his new class at whichever school he’s just started.
One thing he figures out - showing up as the new kid partway through the school year with a split lip or a bruised cheek and an exceptionally vague story about how he got there isn’t really all that bad. Even at age thirteen, he already knows what those looks he gets from the girls in his classes mean.
He’s never actually kissed anyone before. Never really wanted to kiss girls until the past few months.
The only person he’s ever wanted to kiss is Dean. Of course he’s never done that. Sam may not possess all that much social experience, but he knows enough to know that wanting to kiss your brother is fucking weird.
On his third day at this school, one of the girls from his language arts class corners him in a hallway and asks what he’s doing after school. “If you don’t have plans maybe we can stay after school a little while and...hang out, or whatever”, she finishes, leaving no doubt as to what she means by whatever.
Sam has no idea what makes him say this; he suspects it was either another thing he’d learned from Dean without even knowing it or some kind of emergency stalling on his part. “I do have a - a thing today after school”, he says, trying his best to make it sound like his imaginary thing meant the same as her bold whatever. “Got nothin’ tomorrow, though, if you wanna hang out.”
The girl (Heather, Sam keeps reminding himself, her name is Heather) puts on a big smile and enthusiastically accepts. Undoubtedly she thought she was going to have competition. Sam has not even the slightest clue why one of the prettiest girls at school wants to whatever with him; he isn’t going to turn it down, he just needs to prepare.
Dean gets home that day just a little after Sammy, bringing discounted takeout from the restaurant where he’s temporarily working. He knows immediately something is wrong when his walking garbage disposal of a growth-spurt little brother says he isn’t hungry.
“Spill it, Sammy. Is there something going on at school? If someone’s giving you trouble I need to know.”
God, this is going to be really embarrassing. Dean knows every trick in the book to get the truth out of him. Sam doesn’t see the point in trying to make something up.
“It’s not that. Nothing like that. Just-”, and the whole story starts pouring out, Sam telling Dean (almost) everything that happened.
“All right, so you put the girl off a day, made her think you already had plans to make out with some other girl today - that’s a slick move, Sammy. I’m proud of you”, Dean responds with a grin.
“Dean, I don’t think you get it. I mean, yeah, I did want her to think that but also I was just scared to death and needed a day to figure the whole thing out.”
“Figure out staying after school? Or figure out if she was willing to wait?” Dean is a little confused at what the problem is. Sam knows he has to admit it. The odds of being ridiculed are about even with the odds of Dean being cool about the whole thing. Sam never knows which Dean he’s going to get, but he always takes his chances anyway.
Either way, Dean would get it out of him at some point, so he just huffs and says, “I never kissed a girl before”, keeping his eyes on Dean, hoping he doesn’t sound too pathetic. “I probably won’t be any good at it, and then it’ll be all over the school that I’m a terrible kisser”, he finishes in a resigned tone.
For a minute, Dean’s quiet, so Sam keeps rambling. “I mean, whatever, it’s not like we’ll be here long enough for it to make a difference, and-”
Dean cuts him off. “Okay, okay. Let’s just talk about it, and don’t act like it’s dumb. You think I was kissing girls before I was your age? Because I wasn’t.”
This has been coming, Dean knows, and he steels himself for the conversation. He’s never been able to deny to himself that his feelings about Sam are not exactly normal, and he’s never entertained the idea that Sam would find out about those feelings. But he’s always known that eventually his little brother would start the usual process of realizing girls don’t have cooties and that even if they did, Sam wouldn’t mind catching them.
Sometimes all he can think about is how young Sammy is. Other times he has a hard time remembering how young Sammy is. There’s never a minute when he forgets how beautiful Sammy is, and how Dean has been hiding or fighting this urge for Sam to be his since before he really knew how to define that feeling, before he even knew what this kind of attraction means, because Dean was still just a young child himself.
It’s bad, and it’s wrong, and Dean does not for a second try to talk himself out of taking advantage of the situation now in front of him. Sammy’s still very pliable - not with their father, the kid doesn’t give an inch dealing with John - but Dean can make him bend and stretch just with his words.
Not the way he imagines Sam physically bending and stretching when he indulges himself in the fantasy. Dean closes his eyes when he jerks off furiously in the shower, pictures Sammy on his knees, or spreading his legs to give Dean easy access to that precious tight little pink hole.
He snaps himself out of it and motions for Sam to sit with him. They’re facing each other, cross-legged on the bed, not quite touching but almost.
“We can solve this problem, Sammy, but...you have to trust me, okay?”
The hesitation before asking for trust throws Sam for a loop. He narrows his eyes, suspicious. He’s always trusted Dean, and it’s always been for the best, except for when he was getting pranked. And Dean’s a pretty good actor, but Sam doesn’t get the feeling that he’s not taking this seriously. “Um...yeah, of course”, he says, still not entirely sure what’s up his brother’s sleeve.
Moment of truth, Dean thinks. Sammy’s either going to make that face like he thinks Dean might be from another planet, or he’s going to go along because he wants to impress this stupid girl (and he knows it’s just as wrong to think ill of a total stranger but he hadn’t expected to feel quite this jealous at the thought of Sam making out with someone). Either way, if his reaction is negative, he knows it will be easy to convince Sam he was just fucking with him, then change course.
“I’ll teach you. You can practice. With me”, Dean says, meeting Sam’s eyes directly.
And he’s never seen the color drain from his little brother’s face so quickly, eyes wide like he’s just caught a glimpse of the scariest monster in the world.
Sam swallows hard, tries to catch his breath. He isn’t sure how long he’s wanted to kiss Dean, but he is sure he never thought it would happen. If this is a trick, Sam’s not sure how he’ll recover. Dean looks completely relaxed and confident, but then Sam thinks he’s been quiet too long because he loses the eye contact and sees Dean gearing up to start talking again. Hell with it, even if it is a prank, Sam’s not letting this chance pass by. It’s likely the only one he’ll ever get - Dean is offering to help him and Sam will have at least one kiss to remember.
Maybe too eagerly, Sam suddenly blurts out, “Please, yes! I mean, I - thank you, you don’t have to. But I want to, really, I do, I want-”, he catches himself there for a second before he says something he can’t take back, “I want to practice, I want to learn.”
Dean’s on one of those carnival rides that throws you around in circles. He’d thought Sam was freaking out at first, but now he’s sending a very different signal. Dean can read Sam easily from a block away, so up close and personal is an even more effortless task. Kid probably has no idea how his pupils are blown and his erection is obvious even in jeans. This is not Sam being grateful for an offer of help, this is Sam completely blown away because he’s getting something he wants.
Obviously, Dean empathizes. He’s not going to say anything, though. Yet.
“Okay”, Dean starts, uncrossing his legs and motioning for Sam to come closer, “first I have to be able to - I mean, she has to be close enough, right? Yeah, like that. So, she’s not going to be shocked when you go in to kiss her, since clearly that’s already her plan. Still though, be sweet about it. Make sure you look at her lips before you dive in, and maybe lick your lips, casual, not like you’re trying to make yourself look sexy, got it?”
Sam nods silently, slowly. His eyes are already glued to Dean’s gorgeous mouth, the first time he hasn’t had to hide his stare. He’s a little dizzy, but composed enough to move his tongue over his lips, shocked at how not self-conscious he feels. He doesn’t even wait for another instruction, just leans in and brushes his lips softly across Dean’s, his right hand almost unconsciously moving to touch Dean’s left thigh. He does it again, then pulls back after Dean gently kisses the corner of his mouth.
In the moment, Dean’s a little surprised at how quickly his cock is getting hard. He puts on his best poker face and says, “There you go, Sammy. Now, just move your tongue over my - over her lips while you’re kissing her, and she’ll probably open right up for you”, he says, still pretending this is about some girl at Sam’s school. “Go slow, though, don’t just stick your tongue in her mouth. Let me show you this time, okay?”
‘Yes, okay, um, yeah, show me…”, Sam thinks he might be losing it a little bit. He holds on as Dean comes back for a little more gentle kissing, and when Sam feels his tongue, he starts to open his mouth, still tentative.
Sam knows that Dean’s done this a lot, but the wet slide of their tongues feels so amazing that he can’t imagine why Dean ever does anything other than kiss girls all the time.
The realization comes to Sam when Dean touches his face and makes a sound that’s completely unfamiliar yet easily identifiable. Shocked, he pulls away and stares at Dean, hand still on his leg. His heartbeat feels like a marching band drumline, but he says it before he can stop himself.
“You - you wanted to kiss me. Like, not for - I mean, you wanted to kiss me for real. Before today.”
The universe starts to fall in on Dean. He can’t tell if Sam’s angry or surprised or if maybe he’d misread the signals he thought were clear as day five minutes ago. Once he gets his bearings, though, he realizes Sammy’s tone isn’t accusatory. He finds the courage to look back up and hold Sam’s gaze just as the kid starts smiling and tightens his grip on Dean’s thigh.
“Don’t look like that”, Sam almost-whispers, “it’s not bad.” He figures if they’ve come this far, he might as well admit it. “I wanted to kiss you. For a long time. Did you - has it been a long time for you?”
“Yeah”, Dean manages to get out, then clears his throat and fixes his stare on his brother. “It is bad, though. We aren’t supposed to do this, we aren’t supposed to even want to do this.”
Sam shakes his head. “But we both feel the same. Maybe for us it’s not bad. Or if it is, I don’t really care.” He can’t believe he’s saying these things, but he isn’t about to let this go if he can really have it.
Dean’s moral compass has always been a little off, and now it’s been run over by a truck. He lets it go and pulls Sammy closer, almost onto his lap. “Nobody can know”, he says, mouth grazing Sam’s temple. The chance of this being a one-time -only deal is gone.
“Fine”, Sam replies. “I don’t even want to go meet Heather after school tomorrow anymore, really.”
Cupping Sam’s cheek, Dean allows himself a small smile. “Oh no, no. You go see that girl and kiss her silly. Don’t let me be the only person you ever kiss.” He means it, even though he doesn’t want to. He can’t let this get out of hand, not when Sammy’s so young and there’s so much out there for him to experience.
Sam winds his arms around Dean’s neck and agrees, but adds, “You can be the only person I ever love, though.”
Easy for a kid his age to say. But that’s all right, Dean’s not going to hold him to it. He is going to kiss Sammy some more. A lot more. Right now.
He’s also going to start building some interior armor, though. He knows he’ll need it eventually.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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Date: 2017-03-27 12:54 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2017-04-02 01:49 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2017-03-27 01:19 pm (UTC)And oohhhh, interior armor, good thought Dean, another thing you'll need to teach your boy. Ouchy, but I love it.
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Date: 2017-04-02 01:50 pm (UTC)Thanks :)
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Date: 2017-04-02 03:47 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2017-04-02 01:52 pm (UTC)