Another fic rec - pre-series John and Dean Winchester

Fair warning: This story is LONG. Really long. In it, John Winchester is an absolutely horrific asshole but kind of a little bit redeems himself in the end. Not a death!fic, but definitely sad. Bobby Singer (an AU Bobby with a wife and son) features predominately. Those of you who like Dean with the crap kicked out of him will LOVE this story. It was written about 5 years ago.

http://big-pink.livejournal.com/30956.html